Reviews of GWAR shows I've been to:

Rendezvous With Ragnarok, Milwaukee Metalfest, July 28, 1996

Halloween Slaugh-tour, Milwaukee November 2, 1996

Carnival Of Chaos, Milwaukee May 24, 1997

Mancow's Hell-o-ween, Chicago October 27, 1997


Hell-o! all...

Yesterday I had the pleasure of seeing GWAR at Milwaukee Metalfest and the show was incredible as usual. It was still the Ragnarok alien abduction Cardinal Syn show that they've been doing.

My wife Eilleen and I were hanging around before GWAR played, and we saw Mike Bonner (the slave with the big dick) walking around while the other bands played. He was dressed in camoflage pants and a GWAR shirt and looked just like any other one of the people at the show. Apparently noone else recognized him cause he looked kind of lonely just hanging out by himself. We went up and said hi to him and asked him about Sleazy and he said that he wasn't touring with them anymore, and Techno wasn't with them for this tour either. Anyway, he asked Eilleen if she wanted to be fed to the World Maggot at the end of the show, and of course she was thrilled at the chance.

We walked around some more and ran into Chuck Varga (Sexecutioner) at the bar. We went up and said "hey, aren't you..." and he said "how'd you recognize me without the costume?" and I told him that we met him and some of the other guys when they played with (as) X-Cops a couple of tours ago. (funny related note: at this X-Cops/Gwar show, after the show, Dave and most of the guys were signing autographs and this kid came up and asked him "Hey, aren't you the bass player from X-Cops? You guys are pretty cool, do you know GWAR?") Anyway, I asked him if Sleazy was still with the band and he said "Not really... he's found Jesus" He said that Sleazy doesn't want to tour with them anymore and is too busy with his girlfriend to spend a lot of time with the band. He said that the last time he talked to him, Don (Sleazy) had a Jesus sticker on his car. He asked him what's up with that and Don said that he's been to church a few times lately... It sounds to me almost like something that could be the plot to their next tour: Father Bohab plots his revenge against GWAR and has used religious brainwashing to turn Sleazy into a good churchgoing citizen and makes him settle down and get married and start a family...

Finally the show started. The first victim was OJ, who was decapitated. Jerry Garcia was next and had his face ripped off. Then the aliens came out and sucked off Oderus with the sperm gun. Later they returned and sprayed Slymenstra (and everyone else) with the sperm gun. She then came out pregnant and they proceeded to rip the alien monster baby out of her tummy and do nasty things to it while Slymenstra sprayed milk out of her tits. Cardinal Syn's disciples came out and got their chests ripped off, and then the good Cardinal came out himself for the big battle.

Eilleen went backstage after Cardinal Syn fell, and for the encore, out came the world maggot. Sexecutioner brought her out and waved her around in front of the crowd, then tossed her in, along with all the other girls. She said that she got stuck in the maggot and had a hard time getting through, and backstage someone told her that they were going to be coming back around Halloween, like they have for the last four or five years.

After the show, I picked up a cool Matt McGuire drawn Dragon Con print of Slymenstra and a dragon. Danyell (Slymenstra) came out with a box of the cool topless airbrushed photos of her and was selling them for $5 and signed my poster, too.

I got lots of photos at the show, but I haven't got them developed yet. As soon as I do, I'll scan them and post some of them here. I'll also scan the prints, too.


I just woke up and my skin is still stained red with blood from last night's show. Like the Mid Galactic Wrestling Championship show they did here a couple of years ago, this was another opportunity to drag out some of our favorite villians from tours past, including some really old ones...

The set list was as follows:

Penis I See
Pure As The Arctic Snow
Back To Iraq
Think You Oughtta Know This
Cool Place To Park
Black & Huge
Have U Seen Me
Knife In Yer Guts
Dirty Filthy
Ham On The Bone
Techno Song
U Aint Shit
GWAR Theme
Horror Of Yg
Sick Of You
Road Behind

First of all, the opening bands were Corpsickle and Billy Club. Corpsickle is a local death metal band and they sound like just about any other death metal band. The singer is a big heavy guy and he dangled his hair down over his face so you can't see him when he sings, and he growls like he ate too many burritos at Taco Bell. My favorite quote: "This next song is called Rrrrrooooooaaaaaawwwwwwrrrrrrrhhhhhh." Up next was Billy Club, and I wasn't expecting much since it's a long standing tradition for all of GWAR's opening acts to suck royally, but actually they were pretty good. They played traditional thrashy old school punk, which may be nothing new, but they did it well. They managed to whip the crowd into a frenzy, slam dancing and body surfing and really making them go wilder than most opening bands are capable of. The band was also very energetic, with the singer jumping around and making funny faces and working the crowd. They said that they have an album coming out in December, so it'll probably be worth checking out.

For GWAR, I was up in the balcony on the side of the stage, so I could get some pictures (which I'll post here if they turn out). I saw blood sprayed on the ceiling from a previous show, so I knew I wasn't out of range. From up there, before the show I could see behind the patitions they had put up while they got everything ready. I could see in back Cardinal Syn, The Flesh Column, and even The Cheyrnobyl Cockroach (!). Scott Krahl was running around a lot, as well as another slave whose face I didn't recognize, but he played Cardinal Syn as well as about half of the other charcters so I'm guessing it was Matt Maguire. Krahl played most of the others, including the main body of the Flesh Column. I also saw Pete Lee (Flattus) Mike Derks (Balsac) and Dave Brockie (Oderus) all running around before getting costumed up. I hardly recognized Dave since he's let his hair grow out. I thought I saw a Skulhed Face mask down there, too, but old SF never made an appearance in the show. The balcony crowd watched as the slaves changed out of their human apparel and into their skimpy slave costumes, and then began suiting up for the opener. One of them was packing bags of poop into Father Bohab's butt, before he strapped it on and put the robe on over it. We were up there in the spot where they usually put the camcorder, and while we were waiting, this guy (who's name I didn't catch) came up to set up the camcorder. My wife Eilleen and I talked with him for a while and he told us that Sleazy and Techno were both going to be in the show. He also said that Sleazy hasn't been on the last couple of tours because Don recently got married and isn't really into touring any more, but has been working a lot in the Slave Pit getting costumes and monsters ready. Also, he invited Eilleen to be fed to the World Maggot again.

Finally, the lights went down. Out came the characters we saw getting ready: The Bad Biker Bitch, Redneck From Hell, Father Bohab, and Jerry Springer. It sounded like they had lines of Jerry's dialogue sampled from his show as he asked his guests questions. The Bitch told of how GWAR had gang raped her backstage, the Redneck told how they had abused his mother/sister/etc., and Bohab said they had sodomized him with an axe. Then Jerry said "well would you like to talk to them, because we have them backstage right now!"

The Scumdogs tore down the partition and tore into a brutal version of Salaminzer. I didn't see what happened to Jerry, and Bohab got away this time, but as expected they chopped off the Bitch's tits (spraying milk over the crowd), and the Redneck got his eyes stabbed out, his tongue pulled out, and eviscerated too.

After this, Flattus (who was dressed in a leather biker jacket) had a little techical difficulties with his guitar, so Oderus and Balsac kind of improvised a little slow song for about a minute. When they finally got it working, they did Nudged.

I forget if it was during Penis I See or Pure as the Arctic Snow, but Sleazy came out to an overwhelming crowd response, and introduced the first match of the evening: The Morality Squad vs. Slymenstra and the Sexecutioner! This was the first time since the Tour de Scum that we've had a chance to see Tiny and Corporal Punishment in action. Or course, Tiny got chopped in half and Corp. got his muscles ripped off.

Flattus had some more technical difficulties again, and Oderus made a comment about "well that's what you get for not wearing your costume."

Finally, Oderus introduced a new song: Back In Iraq. It was a real thrasher in classic GWAR style, so look forward to this one on the next album. I thought the crowd was nuts during Billy Club, but for GWAR they were just fucking nuts for the whole show. From the balcony I could really see it from a different perspective, and they were just a writhing mass of limbs and bodies, being passed around. I even saw several of the ladies being body passed, and trying to keep their shirts from being pulled up.

Sleazy came out again along with the Grey Aliens and performed Think You Oughtta Know This. One of the aliens was inspecting a security guard for "breeding stock" which was pretty funny. Anyway, Sleazy took the one alien and held the shotgun up to his head, which popped open even though the shotgun failed to go off. Then he took out a switchblade and stabble the eyes out of the other alien, spraying green goop everywhere.

Whargoul was next, after which Sleazy introduced the next match: The Cheyrnobyl Cockroach and (?) vs. Beefcake and Slymenstra I couldn't understand the other guys name, but he was from Cheyrnobyl, too, and was another ancient nemesis from the days of Hell-o! Balsac later said his name was Goaty, the Radioactive Ram, a big muscular monster with a skeletal face and a big alligator like mouth. Well, he got his head ripped off, and the roach (who had a big hammer and sickle on his back) got sprayed with a giant can of insecticide, while Beefcake sang Cool Place To Park. Casey did a great job at the vocals, too. If I didn't know better, I never would have guessed it wasn't Mike Bishop singing.

After that, we had Black & Huge, and then Have U Seen Me?, complete with dancing milk cartons, which 'climaxed' with Oderus fucking the Alien Baby from the last tour and spraying his filthy filthy semen all over the thirsty crowd.

Then the referee guy came out to introduce the next match, which was against Cardinal Syn and Father Bohab. They played an insturmental version of Knife In Yer Guts, and Syn got away but Bohab was sodomized and they pulled white poopey out of his butt.

Dirty Filthy was next, followed by Ham On The Bone (one of my favorites), and then The Techno Destructo Express returned, to the tune of Techno Song. If you've seen Live From Antarctica, you know what happened next. They beat the shit out of Oderus and Sexy, but as soon as You Aint' Shit started, you knew that the tide has turned. Slymenstra saved the day by blowing fire, showering Techno with her menstrual flow, and ripping their mechanical arms off, leaving Bozo wandering off stage with his ass hanging out of his rubber pants.

GWAR Theme was next, followed by Horror of Yg, which was the last match of the night. The escaped Cardinal returned, along with the enormous Flesh Column. I'm amazed that they could fit the flesh column (which had Krahl in the body, and another slave in each hand) as well as Syn and the entire band on the tiny stage at the Rave. But they did it. I was hoping that Skulhedface would show up too, but no such luck...

The finished up with Sick Of You, and then pretened to say goodnight, wandered off the stage and stood around for a couple of minutes while the crowd roared, and then Sleazy (who had changed back out of the Bozo costume) came out and went into Slaugherama. After no Sleazy for two years, two songs by Sleazy in one night... how could we have been so lucky? Anyway, you know the routine: hippie gets his head blow off with a shotgun, art fag gets his face ripped off, skinhead gets his head chopped off, it's still just as fun as it was the first time I saw it... I just wish they'd get some new victims like they did last election year, when they brought out George Bush, Bill Clinton, and the Pope (complete with giant dick under his robe).

Up next was the real shocker: they actually played Road Behind. I've seen them on every tour since 1989, and this is the first time they've actually played it. Sure, they started to on the Skulhedface tour, but Sleazy stopped them after the first couple of bars. But this time they played the whole thing, with Slymenstra waving to the crowd and slow dancing.

Finally, they finished the show with Maggots, and appropriately the World Maggot emerged from beneath the drum riser once more, devouring helpless female girlfriends and groupies, including my wife once again.

After the show, I ran into Pete Lee (Flattus) and asked if I could get a picture of him, to which he replied "only if I can have a picture of you , sailor boy!", and Danyell was selling autographed pictures of herself again. This time she had two different ones than she had at Metalfest. Both are non-topless but really cool anyway. One is a picture of her as Slymenstra sitting in the H.R. Giger chair, and the other one is her dressed up as some kind of cross between an eighteenth century French noblewoman and a S&M domina. She was real friendly and outgoing, the exact opposite of the grouchy she-demon she plays on stage. She thanked everyone for helping her to pay her rent, and I asked her about the Death Piggy CD which Dave had said was going to make it's debut during the fall tour but wasn't out yet. She didn't know anything about it, though. By the way, it was the same old Danyell, she hasn't been replaced (as had been rumored).

I hung around for a while and we checked the bar, but I didn't see any of the other members. I was hoping to ask Dave about the Death Piggy CD, and try to find out more info on some of the old drummers and the new album, but didn't have any such luck this time around.

I've got my second GWAR fix for this year. If get consumed today by a roving band of rabid penguins, at least I'll die a happy man.


My wife Eilleen and I rushed off from a graduation party to get to the Modjeska in time for the show. I don't know if a local band opened or not, since I missed them if they did, but unfortunately we got there in time to catch ChemLab's set. I guess I didn't think Chemlab were as bad as everyone else has said they were, but they weren't anything great, either.

After Chemlab, Hunter Jackson came out and did his "buy the t-shirts and comic" sales pitch, and about twenty minutes later, the lights went down and the show started.

The stage was set to look like the inside of the GWAR temple, built in stone, with the logo above the drum set. The only problem I had with the set is that you could hardly see Jizmak at all back there. Anyway, a small boat came floating across the stage with a tall figure inside. It was Jacques Cousteau, and he went into his monologue about his son Pierre, torn to death by rabid penguins, etc... then the band came out and launched into "Jacques Cousteau," chopping off Jacques' head and showering the delighted audience with their first bloodbath of the night. I clawed my way to the front of the writhing mass of flesh ahead of the stage to get my fill, then moved back to get some pictures (coming soon to a web page near you).

I didn't write down the songs this time, so I don't have the exact set list, but they played another song (Salaminzer I think) and then the slaves came out with two baby gor-gor sized penguins and Oderus talked about how the Scumdogs loved to go Penguin booting, which is when you take the penguins and boot them in the ass. They played Back To Iraq as the band proceeded to kick and stab the penguins and pull their guts out through their beaks.

Next, Oderus made a comment about how they wished Sleazy was there to bring them some crack, and out came Robo Sleazy, a robotic imitation of the band's manager. He dumped several buckets of toxic waste on the crowd, and sprayed more shit out there, too. Techno also came out and gave the band hits off of his giant ring with a rock of crack on it.

The penguins returned again, this time with a bigger, nastier, man-sized, man eating variety. They made their feeble attempt to attack the band (to the tune of Penguin Attack) but had their wings ripped off and got impaled by Oderus' longsword.

They played a few more songs, and Slymenstra came out with Techno. He had her hypnotized by the crack rock, and put the ring on her finger announcing that they were getting engaged.

It may be out of order, but I think next they played As Pure As The Arctic Snow, complete with a snow spraying machine. That's the third time I've seen one of those within a year, after seeing Type O Negative and Marilyn Manson each use snow machines at their concerts. Maybe Snow Machines R Us was having a clearance sale or something. It looked pretty cool anyway.

A few songs later, Techno and Slymie come back out, with Slymenstra in a S&M wedding dress. Techno donned his armor, and they brought out the pope to preside over the ceremony. (Actually the pope was the same rubber costume as they used for Jacques, only Jacques had a stocking cap over his pope hat). For the wedding music, they played an instrumental version of Don's Bong Is Gone (from the Slave Pit singles), much to my delight. The Pope got his head chopped off, and Slymenstra opened up her wedding dress to reveal a gigantic pussy that ran from her waist down to her feet. She swallowed Techno whole with it and then spit him back out. His spell now broken, shen then went offstage and came back as a eight armed three headed Hindu goddess and beat the shit out of Techno.

Oderus commented something about "Well, there goes another rock n roll marriage down the tubes. One minute you're in love and the next you're the cover story on Unsolved Mysteries." He also said something about El Duce getting his head run over on the railroad tracks (in reference to the Cobain murder investigation, which El Duce was involved in until his recent death) Then he said something about "I've been trying to fuck her for 10,000 years and I don't get anything, and now Techno gets to fuck her with his entire body. But don't feel bad for me, I stopped by Boulder Colorodo to pick up my girlfriend. Boner (the slave with the big dick) brought out a new dead child, inspired by Jon-Benet Ramsey, in a cute pink dress. Pre Skool Prostitute blared as Oderus beat and molested the little brat, then blew his load all over the crowd.

After a few more songs, Techno came back out again, riding a giant attack penguin. It was really a well done effect, done with Techno having rubber legs on top of the penguin, while his real ones were inside the penguin costume running around. But he met defeat once again, and Oderus ripped off the Penguin's head.

Oderus made a joke about "I've been reading on the internet and I saw the Top Ten Reasons why GWAR is better than Marilyn Manson. Number Pi: Oderus isn't a mule-faced faggot" He also made a joke about "What's the difference between Courney Love and Wayne Gretzky? Wayne Gretzky takes a shower after three periods" BalSac had another one: "What's the difference between Courtney Love's pussy and a bowling ball? You could eat the bowling ball if you had to."

Then Balsac started playing Private Pain Of Techno Destructo, and Oderus said "why'd you have to start playing that song, just because I didn't like your little joke?" It was time for the grand finale, and Techno came out with his armor and with the reprogrammed Robo Sleazy and proceded to beat the hell out of Oderus and repelled Slymenstra's many attacks. To save their pimply hides, they band had to summon Gor-Gor. I was thinking that they were going to bring out the old Gor Borg from the '92 tour, but this was a new undead Gor Gor, with his scales peeling off and his bones and muscles sticking out. His head was more Jurassic park-like also. Gor Gor defeats Techno, then turns on the band and Oderus ends up shoving his sword through Gor Gor's head.

For encore #1, Slymenstra came out painted up in snake form to sing Don't Need A Man, which went over real well with the crowd. Singing a jazz ballad to a bunch of testosterone crazed metalheads is a risky proposition, but they were under her bewitching spell.

Then they brought out the requisite slutty girlfriends and fed them to the new meatgrinder, which replaces the World Maggot of the last couple tours. The old meatgrinder was a giant box with a crank on the side and they threw the girls in the top, but the new one is much slicker. It's under the drum riser again, and it was two big spiked cylinders that were there to grind the girls into slurry. They must have had a shortage of girls this time, because there were only three or four that went in there.

Encore #2 was the Hell-o! medley. Oderus said "Do you guys know the name of our first album?" to which the crowd yelled back "Hell-o!" "Hello yourself," he responded, "but do you know the name of our first album?" "Hell-o!" "Hi, but what's the name of our first album? Oh I give up, here's some songs from our second album, Hell-o!" They played Time For Death, U Aint Shit, AEIOU, Americanized, and Rock N Roll Party Town, if I remember right.

After the show the security goons herded us out in the street, and a small group of stalkers gathered at the tour bus hoping to get a brief glance of our Scumdog masters in human disguise. After not too long, Derks came out and signed autographs for the few that knew who he was. I complimented him on the Slave Pit singles and said I thought it was pretty cool that they used Don's Bong Is Gone for the wedding theme, and that I really like The Needle as well. He asked me how I liked the singles, and instead of telling him that it greatly increased my appreciation of the extent of his musical talents, all I could think of is "they're great" like some fuckin retard. Of course one should be in awe of a demigod, even when he walks among men.

Danyell came out next and signed autographs and talked to the shambling masses. I said something about the internet, and she said that she's got a lot of shit from some people through e-mail about her selling autographed photos on the last tour, that some people felt that she wasn't being "punk" enough or whatever. She said that she's just trying to make a living and that that the band members were only making about $15 a day on their last tour. I told her that part of the misconception is that some people were mistakenly thinking that she was selling autographs for $5, which isn't true. She was selling photographs of herself, which she autographed for free. I can attest to the fact that she was autographing anything else for free as well on the last tour. Anyway, another guy asked her about a side project that she had been reportedly working on a couple of years ago called Mama Zoo (I think that's what she said) and she said that it was about half done, but the other girl she was working with is now in a mental institution, but she may finish the project some day.

I had to go then, so I didn't get a chance to see if any of the others came out. I saw Pete Lee and Mike Bonner, but they must have been busy or didn't feel up to dealing with us rabid fans, and they quickly went into the bus.

So anyway, that's how I remember it, but my memory is kind of fucked up, so I'm sure I have some things out of order. I got lots of pictures, so if any of them turned out, I'll probably be posting them to my web page within a week or so.

As for songs, I seem to recall they played:

Jacques Cousteau
As Pure As The Arctic Snow
Hell-o! Medley

Death Pod
Sick Of You
Vlad The Impaler

Crack In The Egg
Gor Gor

Sadaam A Go Go

Don's Bong Is Gone (Wedding Theme)


Penguin Attack
I Hate Love Songs
Don't Need A Man
Back To Iraq
PreSkool Prostitute
If I Could Be That (I think they played that, but I'm kind of hazy on that one)
Private Pain Of Techno Destructo

Mancow's Hell-o-ween Extravaganza
With Impotent Sea Snakes, GWAR, Ratt, & Anthrax
The United Center, Chicago Illinios
October 30, 1997

Living in Wisonsin, I've been fortunate enought to catch GWAR twice a year in Milwaukee for the last three years, once on their full US tour supporting their album du jour, and a second time on their annual Halloween tour.  Unfortuantely, this year Chicago is as close as they came, so I made my plans to head south for this show.  They were playing at the United Center, the home of the Chicago Bulls, which to my knowledge is the first time GWAR has ever played a huge arena, so I figured at least it would be interesting to see how their larger than life show translates to the larger venue.

I'll be the first to admit that I have never heard Mancow's radio show. For those of you not from the midwest, Mancow is the king of the morning shock jocks in Chicago, beating even Howard Stern in the ratings war.  A quick review of his web page gave me a bit of information on his show, as well as some graphic pictures of freaks and accident victims, but all I wanted was to see GWAR.  

Despite the usual ridiculous Chicago traffic, I got to the United Center about a half hour before showtime only to find the lines were backed way up while they checked everyone's ID's to make sure there was noone under 18 in the crowd.  The show was scheduled to start at 8:00, and we finally made it in around 8:20, but fortunately they didn't start until after 8:30.  

The giant video screens were playing scenes of naked women from sixties exploitation films, so I figured that this must be a good sign.  The lights finally went down and an X rated version of Vincent Price's monologe from Thriller was read.  Impotent Sea Snakes took the stage.  I had heard about their outlandish orgies onstage, and this night they didn't let anyone down this night.  They had a guy walking around on stilts, a number of tranvestites, dominatrixes, naked large breasted lesbians licking each other's assholes, and bare balled guitar players dangling their dicks in front of the cameras for display on the twenty foot tall video screens.  One transvestite in a black French renaissance ballroom gown stuck his hand up another's skirt and pulled out a bloody tampon, which he then stuck in his teeth squirting blood down his face. It all made for an entertaining show but musically the Impotent Sea Snakes were rather limp. Unlike GWAR, this is a band that _has_ to have an outrageous stage show because they are musically challenged.  They performed two original songs and then went into an extended version of Sympathy for the Devil, where Mancow came out and made his first appearance of the night.  I knew it was a bad sign to come when ISS left the stage after only three songs...

Mancow brought out a couple dozen strippers from a local Chicago club and attempted to break the world's record for the largest lapdance.  As another example of the poor planning of this event, it took them a good five or ten minutes of killing time to find a couple of dozen vouleneers to come on stage to receive the lap dances.  Several cute strippers bared their silicone-enhanced bosoms for the cameras and the drooling delight of the males in the crowd.  But the lap dance was a bit of a flop, as most of the strippers didn't even get topless.  You'd think for 20,000 people they'd at least put a bit of effort into it.

Mancow also brought out a couple of midgets and this guy called T2-The Human Cyclops. This guy had a gaping hole where his left eye should have been, and he poured beer in his eye socket and then spit it out of his mouth.  He also puffed on a cigarette and blew it out of his socket.  Now that's a guy that would be fun to have at parties!

Next they had planned to feed a donkey to a 300 pound snake  but the Animal Rights activists wouldn't let them.  After another ten minute delay while Mancow killed time, they had four guys bring out the snake which was big but nothing that you haven't seen before on the Discovery channel. They brought out the donkey too, but shit, that thing was so small I could have swallowed him whole.  It was little more than a baby, the kind of cute little thing you'd find in a petting zoo.  I was hoping it would make another appearance in the GWAR set, where the band knows how to treat animals right, but no luck.

Up next was Mr. Methane, a British guy in a lime green superhero costume who was purported to be able to sing by "controlled anal voicing"- or farting.  He laid on a table with his legs in the air and held a microphone up to his asshole and farted along to some classic rock hits as well as the theme from Close Encounters.  To prove it wasn't all staged, he pulled down his shorts to reveal a hole cut in his tights exposing his sphicter.  He poured talcum powder all over his ass and let me tell you, it was one of the funniest points in the show seeing a closeup of a man blowing powder out of his asshole on a twenty foot video screen.  He finished up his act by shoving a tube in his rectum and blowing out a dart to pop a balloon.  

After the little freakshow, it was time for GWAR to play their set.  They opened up with Penguin Attack, and did the ususal GWAR style mutilation to three trick-or-treating Rabid Antarctic Penguins.  A couple of the cameramen got showered with Penuin spew, sprinkling the video displays. They brought out Timmy The Talking Toilet as they went into Salaminzer, plunging Timmy for turds to launch into the crowd from the Crapapult, making its first appearance since the '92 tour.  Timmy served to introduce the night's regularly scheduled victims- Marilyn Manson was up next and he had his head smashed in with by Oderus with the plunger while Beefcake sang I Hate Love Songs.  Princess Di was dismembered and raped with a giant dildo by the Sexecutioner then Oderus did the nasty with her while she sprayed blue blood from her neck.  Unfortunately the Cuttlefish did _not_ spew (another first for a GWAR show). The last victim of the night was Elvis- who got his  fat old King Of Rock N Roll gut ripped open.  The show was reserved seating (another first for a GWAR show) so I wound up with shitty seats in the back, miles away from the blessed baptism of spew I have come to expect rained upon me.  

While I can understand why GWAR wanted to play this show, knowing that they would be playing for thousands of people that have never heard of them, I hate the fact that they played an abbreviated set of only six songs, less than a third of their usual set.  After hearing in BalSac's last e-mail newsletter that they grand finale of the show was the biggest they had ever done, when Oderus announced that they were playing their last song, their "best song they had ever done" I was hoping for a rousing rendition of Gor Gor with some battle of epic proportions... but all we got was Sick Of You with the slaves spraying blood cannons into the crowd.  With all the bare female flesh on display at the show I was expecting the Meat Grinder to be well fed this night, but again we were not in store for this delight.  

After a break in which they cleaned up GWAR's mess on stage, Mancow came out with Billy Corgan, who announced the nights "surprise" band- Ratt.  It wasn't much of a surprise though seeing as how Ratt has been listed on the Pollstar page for two weeks, and their t-shirts were at the booths prior to the show.  They played only three songs, You're In Love, Back For More, and Round And Round I think it was, to a lukewarm response.  While some of the crowd was cheering, a large number were outright booing them.  I've seen Ratt before at the height of their popularity, and they can put on a show, but this night they just looked like they were going through the motions, just kind of standing there playing theirs songs.  They looked like they've seen better days.

Up next while they changed over the set, Mancow brought out a coffin on stage for what was supposedly the exhumation of a real corpse.  Apparently they've been hyping on his show that this guy was brutally killed in Guatemala and the Mancow show sponsored to have his body brought back to the United States if they could open the coffin for the first time on stage at the Halloween festival. What was supposedly the guy's brother was on stage to identify the body, and they had doctors present to perform an examination.  When they finally opened the sealed coffin, inside was what appeared to be the body of a pre-teen boy with his hands bound in twine, not the guy's dead 27 year old brother.  The body wasn't rotted or decomposing or anything, so it was hard to tell if it was real or just some wax dummy.  The crowd wasn't convinced and started chanting "BULL-SHIT! BULL-SHIT!"

Up next was a costume contest, where the winner got to spend a night with porn star Vixen who came out on stage and dropped he dress revealing her nude porn star body.  Most of the contestants were pretty lame, with a giant erect penis, a foam GWAR-circa-1987 style warrior, and a giant bong being the only decent ones. The bong won hands down, and speaking of hands, on the way off the stage he was sticking his hands down the back of Vixen's dress and fondling her ass.  Upon thinking of it, the bong would make a perfect prop for a touching performance of Don's Bong Is Gone...

Mancow came out dressed as an old washed up Las Vegas lounge singer and tried to sing an REM song.  The crowed booed him and he gave a bunch of fuck you's back.  The bit was trying to be funny, but the humor was lost on me.  

The last band was Anthrax, which was a welcome surprise to me since they hadn't been listed on the Pollstar site (someone called Hair Of The Dog was supposed to be the fourth band) and I've been a huge Anthrax fan for over twelve years now.  They came out dressed in Chicago Bulls uniforms and stared with Got The Time.  They also tore through the high octane stomp of Fueled and Only.  I was hoping to hear some new songs from their forthcoming album, but no such luck...  just the greatest hits of the last four albums.   They finished up with Bring The Noise with John Bush jumping around stage with one of the midgets and then the Impotent Sea Snakes started coming back on stage while Anthrax was still playing.  All of the guys in the band were naked running around with their dicks dangling all over the place, and the naked lesbians were there sticking their asses in the cameras.  

For the finale, they brought out a piano and some guy sang some bawdy ragtime tunes  while the Sea Snakes and everyone else they could get up on stage was there.  I was hoping to see some of the GWAR guys, but I didn't recognize any of them up there.  

Overall, the show was good but could have- no, should have- been much better.  First of all, they crammed all of this into three hours.  They should have had this on Saturday and made it an all day kind of thing allowing each band to play their full set.  Shit, normally just seeing any band with an opener takes up three hours but they tried to do too much in too little time.  Plus they wasted way too much time with they phony dead body, the lame lap dance, the porn star, the big snake, etc... All I could think of is they cut GWAR's and Antrhax's set short for this?  Don't get me wrong, I'm as big a conneseuir of the female form as any red blooded heterosexual male, but I can go to the local tittie bars any night of the year.  I only get one or two chances a year to see GWAR, and even less than that for Anthrax.  So if anyone is planning another one of these for next year please get one thing right- let the bands play their full fucking sets!  I want a full ninety minutes each of GWAR and Anthrax, dammit!

Now I'm just hoping that the rumors of a GWAR/Misfits tour in Jan/Feb are true and I'll get a chance to see the whole show that I missed...